


Japes and Pinky Promises

by GypsumLilac



Series: A Simple Roll Of The Dice [5]
Category: Undertale
Genre: Gen, One-Shot, kills people, reader is hitman
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-09
Updated: 2019-01-09
Packaged: 2019-10-07 11:22:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,929
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17364992
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GypsumLilac/pseuds/GypsumLilac
Summary: blehh so tired why am i even posting this... oh well, guess it's for the sense of validation when someone comments or kudoses...





	Japes and Pinky Promises

**Author's Note:**

> CW: ... i dun even kno, man... i dun kno...

Your target shifts restlessly under the streetlight halo. The chill wind gusts around him and he huddles deeper in his tweed coat. Your body wants to shiver in the bitter cold but you relax it, focusing on your heartbeat and the warm metal weight in your hand. It’s nigh impossible to hear anything over the whistling gusts; you need to kill him quickly before his contact arrives. You stalk step by agonizing step. Closer. To. Jinx. The traitor. He turns in your direction and you freeze. His eyes can’t see anything more than dark shadows beyond the prison of light he’s stupidly placed himself in, you reassure yourself. Your breath tightens anyway. A sapling stands only a few feet away, he wouldn’t see you behind there… but he would definitely see any movement. You stay still and breathe in and breathe out and absolutely do not move a single itching muscle. He turns away again. You relax and slink to blend your shadow with the tree’s. 

The gun in your hands is slightly damp with your sweat as you stance to shoot. You close one eye and stare down the sights at Ji- your target’s chest. There’s a temptation to be cocky and aim for a headshot but you won’t get a good clean lock on him like this again. Always surrounded by his bodyguards. You’ve got one chance. Six bullets. He takes a couple steps and the steel barrel follows him. Thumping rings in your ears. The wind whistles. 

Your finger slips onto the trigger and the gun leaps in your hands with a deafening flash. He staggers under the streetlamp. His mouth flops and his eyes dart. The gun leaps and flash-cracks again. The tweed coat turns wet-black. The gun flash-cracks. Jinx falls. The gun cracks. The body shudders. Cracks.  The pool of dark red liquid shimmers calmly under the streetlamp. Blood is so beautiful. You approach the body cautiously. Pale hands are curled up in a pained convulsion. Purple veins stand out from the white skin of the frightened visage. Death is so beautiful. Your thirsty teeth part as your eyes drink in the painting you drew with your gun and a target. He won’t need the tweed coat anymore. You can just wash the stains out and it’ll be as good as new. It comes off of the limp body easily enough and you drape it over one arm. Maybe ten years ago, you would have worried about fingerprints and evidence and getting the incriminating bullets out of his body… but times have changed. That’s a waste of time now. You turn away from the body and walk down the street jauntily. Tomorrow you’ll get a new tattoo; you wonder what design you should do this time. Perhaps a shattered rose, Daze would appreciate that. The cruel thought passes through and leaves a smug grin. The freezing wind cuts at the pounding adrenaline keeping you warm and you shiver. 

“HUMAN, YOUR FEARS AND WAITING ARE OVER!!” You nearly trip and then freeze in place as a booming voice cuts through the wind. Jinx’s contact. “FOR YOUR MOST EXCELLENT RON-DAY-VOO IS ARRI- HUMAN!!” Did he see you?? “GET UP THIS INSTANT!! IT IS UNBECOMING FOR YOU TO LAZE ABOUT WHEN YOU ARE BEING HUNTED. MY BROTHER CAN GET AWAY WITH IT, BUT THAT IS NO EXCUSE FOR YOU- OH HUMAN, YOU’VE BEEN DRINKING AGAIN, HAVEN’T YOU.” You take a careful sidling step towards the wall as Jinx’s contact misreads the scene and exhorts a dead body to wake up. Another step. The ‘ron-day-voo’ keeps shouting, the blithering idiot that he is, and if you’re really unlucky, other gangs will take notice. And other gangs won’t be nearly as forgiving as the police. “YOU THERE, CAN YOU HELP ME WAKE THIS MAN UP!” He’s- not seriously shouting at you, is he? 

You ignore him in the vain hope that he’s addressing some other starsforsaken person wandering the streets in the middle of the night in freezing weather. “HUMAN, IT IS RUDE TO IGNORE SOMEONE WHEN THEY ARE TALKING TO YOU. HAS YOUR MOTHER NEVER TAUGHT YOU MANNERS??” He’s addressing you. Very loudly. You turn around and shrug, inwardly plotting how to make him regret bringing up your mother. You have one bullet left. You’ll have to make it count. “THAT’S IT, COME HERE AND HELP ME. I THINK HE’S BEEN INTO THE BRANDY, LOOK AT ALL THIS RED STUFF SPILLED AROUND HIM.” The tall figure stands just outside the streetlight halo. But you can make out that he’s wearing a fedora and an overcoat with the neck turned up. He waves an arm, motioning you closer. You start to obey and then remember the tweed coat on your arm and the gun in your hand. “WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? PERHAPS HE NEEDS SOME WARMTH, JUST GIVE HIM YOUR COAT. YOU DON’T NEED IT, OBVIOUSLY.” It shouldn’t be possible for him to see that well in the dark! But if he’s seen the coat, he’s probably seen the gun too. And he probably has a gun of his own trained on you... Reluctantly, you walk back towards the man you killed and his contact. The contact seems naive. Every step you take towards the streetlight crime scene makes a knotting weight in your chest clench tighter. “VERY GOOD, HUMAN. GIVE HIM YOUR COAT AND I WILL CARRY HIM WITH MY IMPRESSIVELY STRONG MUSCLES TO MY HOUSE.” Is he- flexing?? You have never met a single gangster quite like this one. For a moment, you don’t think you’d mind being bested by him.

You stop just outside the circle of light and throw your stolen trophy over the dead man. The contact, ‘ron-day-voo’, bends down and picks the man up. The light reflects off of bone. A skull underneath the fedora. Fingerbones hold the body tightly. The moment shatters. It brings itself to full height and stares down at you with dark sockets from underneath the fedora. “YOU ARE AS PALE AS HIM, NOW! I CAN’T HAVE YOU FALLING ASLEEP AS WELL, HUMAN. YOU SHOULD COME WITH ME. NO, DON’T BACK AWAY, I PROMISE YOUR FRIEND WILL BE OKAY. HE JUST NEEDS SOME REVITALISING SPAGHETTI AND A GOOD HUG. BOTH OF WHICH I AM THE GREATEST AT PROVIDING.” Your feet don’t obey its command to stop backing away. You bring the gun up and focus down the sights a bit beneath the fedora. It takes a few steps towards you, then stops as if uncertain. The gun shakes with the cold water in your bones. Ha, bones. It’s a skeleton. A monster. Monsters aren’t supposed to be anywhere near this district, what is one doing here?? They said Jinx was consorting with an enemy gang, not consorting with-  _ them _ . “HUMAN, YOU DO NOT HAVE TO DO A VIOLENCE. JUST PUT THE GUN DOWN AND RETURN TO MY HOUSE WITH ME. WHATEVER IS FRIGHTENING YOU, I CAN MAKE IT GO AWAY. WHATEVER VIOLENCES YOU HAVE DONE IN THE PAST ARE DONE. BUT YOU CAN STOP! YOU DO NOT HAVE TO REMAIN TRAPPED IN AN ENDLESS CYCLE OF KILL OR BE KILLED.” 

Don’t listen to him, whatever you do, you have to not listen to him. Monsters have mind-control powers. They must have used it on Jinx, those bastards. Pull the trigger, idiot!! Before he comes any closer!! It takes another step and you see its smile. It’s right in front of you, holding the the limp body still, its chest is right in front of your gun. 

You flinch and feel the gun leap in your hands and hear the crack and see the flash behind tightly closed eyelids. One eye peeks open. The monster isn’t smiling anymore. The sockets stare down, narrow and stern. There’s a hole in the overcoat. But the monster doesn’t fall. You really should have aimed for the skull. 

“HUMAN, I AM VERY DISAPPOINTED IN YOU.” It says and makes your throat tighten and sink. Stupid throat. You’re only disappointed because he didn’t die. “BUT NOW THAT YOUR BULLETS ARE GONE, YOU HAVE NO CHOICE EXCEPT TO ACCOMPANY ME AND YOUR FRIEND TO MY HOUSE.” No choice. Except to run. If he has a gun, well, even dying would be better than being captured by a monster. You’ve heard what they do to prisoners. Horrible nightmare-inducing things. Things that twist people and turn them into something not-quite-human. “DO NOT BE FRIGHTENED, I AM EXPERIENCED IN CAPTURING PEOPLE AND CAN ENSURE THAT YOUR STAY WILL BE MOST COMFORTABLE. NYEH HEH HEH HEH!!” 

The dooming statement and arrogantly maniacal laugh decide for you. You run, wind whipping around you, the street blurring. You run, every frantic desperate step fueled by terror and confusion. You run; at any moment a sharp pain will crack into your spine and you’ll drop to bleed out in the dark all alone. You run. And realize that your feet aren’t touching the ground.

“IT SEEMS I SHALL HAVE TO CAPTURE YOU THE FUN WAY THEN, HUMAN, SINCE YOU SO RUDELY REFUSED TO ACCEPT MY GRACIOUSLY OFFERED HOSPITALITY.” Fun would be it letting you go, or even just shooting you. Your body spins around, your feet dangle above the pavement. The monster twitches a finger and you’re moved towards it. It puts the body down gently. A thick bone appears in the air; The monster spins it around and accidentally whacks itself on the head with it. Under different circumstances, it would be humorous. But the monster just proved it can summon heavy objects from thin air. And somehow you are dangling in midair. By killing Jinx, you antagonized a powerful, although eccentric, creature. 

“I promise to not do any more violences.” The monster cocks its skull. The bone leans on its shoulder. “If you let me go.” Bargaining with it is your only hope now.

“YOU- PROMISE?” The monster flicks its fingers and you are lowered back onto firm pavement. You stagger and then flinch when its hand reaches out. “PINKY PROMISE? TO NOT DO ANY VIOLENCE EVER AGAIN?” Its voice is filled with hope. It is actually stupid, isn’t it. It doesn’t really think for a moment that you don’t plan on going back on this ‘pinky promise’?? Heh, works for you. 

“Yes.” It doesn’t retract its hand so you put yours in the bones and try not to flinch when they wrap around your hand like a cage. “I- pinky promise. To not ever do any violence ever again.” 

“LET ME SEE YOUR OTHER HAND, HUMAN. I MUST BE SURE THAT YOU DO NOT PLAN ON TRICKING YOUR WAY OUT BY CROSSING YOUR FINGERS.” You shrug and give it your other hand. You aren’t superstitious, you can break the promise without having to cross anything. “VERY WELL. IN CELEBRATION OF YOUR NEW RESOLVE, YOU SHALL COME WITH ME AND THIS DEAD MAN HERE TO MY HOUSE AS WE HAD PLANNED EARLIER. WE SHALL FEAST ON SPAGHETTI!! SOLVE PUZZLES!! I SHALL TRICK YOU WITH CLEVER JAPES AND YOU WILL TRY TO JAPE BACK BUT FAIL BECAUSE OF THE CLEVERNESS OF THE GREAT PAPYRUS!!” The bones around your hand tighten and you’re dragged off balance as the monster heaves the dead body over his shoulder and runs across the street with you in tow. You struggle to keep up with it. It’s useless to try to break away, you know that now. You can only be dragged along by the monster as it strut-runs through the dark streets and cheers its own greatness. 

You have been captured by The Great Papyrus.

**Author's Note:**

> This was written a long time ago, at least two years ago, and all the paragraphs are realllllly long... sorry to anyone reading on mobile, it probably looks like a wall of text... not gonna continue this... not that anybody wants that. 
> 
> Thanks for reading :P Have a good day....


End file.
